PARENTS AND TEENS: WELCOME TO MY WORLD

BACKGROUND

COPING WITH ILLNESS IN THE FAMILY

It's hard enough being a teenager, without having to cope with the news that your parent has cancer. Teenagers often react more emotionally to a crisis than younger children, who don't always fully understand what's going on. Teens can find it very hard to express feelings at home, and are more likely to look for support from friends or other adults outside the immediate family. If talking to anyone is too hard, then it's tempting to try to ignore the feelings, like Charly did. On the outside, teenagers might look as though they're coping, but inside they're probably feeling frightened and alone.

Advice for teens whose parent has cancer

• It's natural to feel angry, but not OK to lash out at others
• Try to find someone you can talk to. If you can't, try writing your thoughts down in a diary
• Although an illness in the family can overshadow everything else, don't forget about the good things that you still have in your life, such as friends, other family members, pets, music, hobbies. Make a list and pin it up somewhere you can see it, as a reminder that life isn't just about cancer
• If you're moping or feeling blue, get out and take a bit of exercise. It'll help to shift your mood
• Distraction is great, but be careful you don't shut out the sad feelings all the time
• Don't avoid friends, but keep on seeing them, even if you don't feel like talking
• Crying when you feel sad can help you to release your feelings, and is nothing to be ashamed of
• You don't have to pretend to feel alright about what's happened. If you can tell your parent that you feel sad, it might help them to acknowledge their own feelings, so that you can share the experience rather than shutting each other out.

See Find out more for further help for children of cancer sufferers as well as for adults with cancer on how to talk to their kids.