MUM'S GONE GAY
BACKGROUND INFORMATION
The Graham family seems happy. The children are doing well at school and maintaining strong friendships outside their immediate family. Their parents, while both busy with work, are very much involved in their children's lives. They attend parents' evenings; spend time with the children chatting about their day; and appear to be responsible, supportive, loving parents who are interested in their children's lives and welfare.
However, when Dave discovers a message on Louise's phone, he feels shocked and betrayed. Her affair is revealed to the children in a traumatic fashion. It is clear no-one knows how best to deal with the situation, and relationships within the family and beyond are severely tested.
Estimates vary as to the numbers of people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT), but most research puts estimates at somewhere between 5 and 10%. Significant numbers of young people, therefore, live in families where a parent is gay. While today many adults who identify as gay may be able to form relationships openly, legislation and homophobic attitudes would have actively prevented this from being a possibility for many until relatively recently.
Gay people in the past, and even now, have felt unable to overcome the expectations within society to get married and have a family. Louise tells Carly how she had always wanted children, despite having known about her sexuality from a young age, and that it was simply 'expected' that she settle down with the children's father. Now involved with another woman, she finds it difficult to explain this apparent 'change of heart' to her husband and young family.
While diversity within families is becoming more accepted, 'alternative' images of the family unit are rarely represented, making it all the more difficult for young people in Carly and Josh's situation to relate their experiences to anything meaningful.
During adolescence, when young people are often finding their way in terms of identity and sexuality, there can be great pressure to conform, whether you are gay or straight. Homophobic attitudes can affect young people because they themselves are gay, or because they do not conform to stereotypes of masculinity and femininity. Equally they may be targeted because they have a family member or friend who is gay. Regardless of what gives rise to the bullying, the effects can be extremely damaging.
The Terence Higgins Trust's Homophobia factsheet (1999) states:
'Homophobia has a severe impact on mental and emotional health. It can cause feelings of low self-esteem and worthlessness, depression and anxiety, isolation and loneliness.'
The importance of family relationships, good communication, openness and honesty is identified throughout the programme. While it is unclear whether the Graham family unit will remain intact, it is clear that strong family bonds are not easily broken, and the story closes on an optimistic note.
