MUM'S GONE GAY

ACTIVITIES

Guidance

Teachers should be sensitive to the fact that some young people in their care may live in a household with a parent and their same-sex partner. Others may have experienced family break-up due to a situation similar to that shown in the programme, or have suffered homophobic bullying due to a family member's sexuality.

It might be helpful to refer to information about handling sensitive issues on the DfES's Teachernet website, or to look at Channel 4's INSET programme 'Teaching Controversial Issues' (see Links).

The activities support a mix of individual, paired and group work, depending on the context and the composition of the students involved.

Before viewing

It is important to consider the right context within which to address gay issues. It can be difficult to address these in isolation, and so links should be made to the broader curriculum and wider social issues. Appropriate contexts for this programme might be relationships, family communication, diversity or inclusion.

Group agreement

A safe environment within which to discuss these issues is also important. Agreeing 'ground rules' with students is a good way to help maintain respectful behaviour within the group. These can be referred back to whenever necessary, and should include ideas around appropriate language, the right to be heard, and the responsibility to listen and treat others with respect. Emphasise that participation need not involve disclosing anything students are not comfortable with. Issues around confidentiality might also be included.

You could work in four groups to each look closely at one of the four main characters while viewing the programme. Record what they might be thinking and feeling at key points in the story. If you were a friend, how might you have supported that person?

After viewing

To view 4Learning video clips you will need Windows XP/2000 and Windows Media Player 9, 10 or 11. Unfortunately, the clips are not supported on Macintosh computers.

The video clips may contain a few seconds of extra material at the beginning and end. We have therefore included opening and closing descriptions to help identify the intended scene.

The five clips from this programme are contained in one video player show. Click on the following link, then select the clip you require.

Carly's relationships
Clip one: 00:00 – 2:11

• Opens with Abi saying, 'Hiya' and Carly responding, 'Hello, y' alright?'
• Closes with Louise saying, 'I like it a lot', and Carly responding, 'You're welcome.'

The programme opens with several scenes of everyday domestic situations, with indications as to the nature of Carly's relationships with family and friends. What clues are there to tell us about the ways in which Carly relates to other people? Do you think her relationships are healthy? Who is she close to? How do you know? Discuss how Carly's relationships changed after her mother's affair was revealed.

You could make a web showing your own family members, friends and other people in your life. Consider how these relationships might change, and what challenges might appear for them, if someone in your web came out as gay, lesbian or bisexual. Think too about how these relationships might be affected from that person's perspective. What support might be needed to keep all these relationships intact? Would things be easier than they have been for Carly?

Dad's point of view
Clip two: 08:35 – 11:35

• Opens with Carly asking, 'Where's she gone, Dad?'
• Closes with Josh shouting, 'Carly!' as Dave sits in his car, sounding the horn.

Carly confronts her dad as soon as he comes downstairs. Discuss the following questions: How do you think she is feeling at this point? Do you think her accusation that her dad must be 'blind' is fair? Do you think Dave suspected his wife was gay? How do you think he must be feeling at this point? Does he cope well with the situation? What might he have done differently? What might Carly have done differently?

If they had both been feeling calm, what questions might Carly have reasonably asked her dad? Given that Carly's questioning was perhaps not reasonable, did Dave deal with them as best he could?

Carly's experience at school
Clip three: 15:57 – 19:21

• Opens with the girls in the toilets talking about Carly and her mum as Carly sits in the next cubicle.
• Closes with Mr Clifton walking off and leaving Carly alone in the gym.

Carly overhears girls speculating about her sexuality. What leads people to have these attitudes? Do they need support and understanding too? What are some strategies you can use if you witness harassment or bullying, or are being bullied? You could investigate the effects of homophobic bullying online.

Why do you think Carly approaches Mr Clifton? He is clearly sympathetic, but do you think his comments are helpful? He suggests Carly 'let them talk' and that she is too 'clever' to let this bother her. Is this realistic? Did he manage the situation well? Why do you think Carly tried to kiss him?

What could the school do to support young people in Carly's situation, or those who might be experiencing bullying because a family member or friend is gay? Does your school have guidelines for dealing with homophobic incidents? Perhaps you could contribute to these using what you have learned from the programme.

Mum's point of view
Clip four: 20:55 – 23:58

• Opens with Louise saying, 'So what did you think you were doing?'
• Closes with Louise shouting 'Carly!' as Carly gets out of the car and sets off for home on foot.

Now Carly fires the questions at her mum. Discuss the following questions: Louise knew she was gay from a young age. Why do you think she got married and had children? What pressures might there have been on her to meet this expectation? Where might the pressure have been coming from? Do you think things have changed for gay teenagers now? Is it easier to come out? Why/why not?

Louise says she wanted to tell the family that she was gay. What would have been the barriers that made this so difficult for her? What might Louise's fears be now?

Josh's point of view
Clip five: 23:19 – 25:43

• Opens with Kieran saying, 'He sliced it! Rubbish, Josh!' as the boys play football.
• Closes with Carly dragging Josh in off the street and slapping him upstairs in the bedroom.

Points for discussion: How do you think Josh has been feeling throughout all of this? Think of the relationships he has with his family and friends. Who has been supportive? Who hasn't? Why do you think Kieran teases Josh when they are playing football?

Why do you think Josh didn't challenge the boys who harassed his mum? Why did Carly drag him inside? You could write about this incident from Josh's point of view. Is there any support available to him at all?

Additional activities

What might the family do about the window being smashed, given that there were at least three witnesses to the incident? Do you think the police would take it seriously? What should happen to the boys who did it? Is it too late for their attitudes to be changed? How might that happen? What might be the outcome if no-one ever challenges this type of behaviour?

How do you think the situation will be resolved? What clues are there, towards the end of the programme, that there will be a positive outcome for Josh and Carly? Do you think their parents will stay together? Why/why not? What might be the advantages/disadvantages of them staying together?

What do you think of the family's communication skills throughout? Compile a guide to good communication in families.

Investigate organisations that exist to support families in crisis, or young people in need of support.