MAKE ME A GROWN UP
PROGRAMME 8: LAUREN
BACKGROUND
Seventeen-year-old Lauren has recently moved from a girls' school to a mixed boarding school in Somerset. She is awkward and uncomfortable in social situations, particularly when boys are present. She does not know what to say or do. Self-conscious and worried about being rejected, she tries to fade into the background whenever possible. Her clothes are dowdy, androgynous and without personality. Her standard uniform comprises jeans, trainers, T-shirts and baggy tops in dark colours. Her mother describes her as 'frumpy' with a similar dress sense to her grandmother. In social settings, Lauren's body language often conveys fear, misery and boredom. Her conversation is stilted and she makes critical, negative comments that push people away before they have a chance to reject her. When she is around boys, Lauren becomes even more tense and has to fight the urge to escape.
Lauren is unhappy in herself and feels that her negativity is holding her back. She wants support to develop her confidence, boost her self-belief and improve her relationships with others, particularly boys. The mentoring team concentrates its efforts on helping Lauren to:
- learn how to approach new people
- develop her conversational skills
- improve her dress sense.
PSYCHOLOGICAL EXERCISES
The street exercise takes Lauren out of her comfort zone and forces her to speak to men of different ages. It gives her coping strategies that she can use in the future. Stephen's interventions take the form of pep talks. These enable Lauren to improve specific aspects of her body language and oral communication.
In the subsequent role play, Stephen shows her how to put people at their ease and encourage them to talk. The main learning point is that when someone concentrates 100 percent on making another person feel welcome and important, neither have the time to be self-conscious.
THE MAKEOVER
Lauren dresses to hide her female shape and fuller figure. Gok shows her how to work with her shape rather than concealing it.
THE FINAL CHALLENGE
Before hosting a dinner party, Lauren reveals that her new look makes her feel that she no longer has to be self-conscious or scared. She performs well as a hostess. She is animated, creates a comfortable atmosphere and ensures that all her guests participate in the conversation. Lauren regards the success of the dinner party as marking the beginning of a new era in her life.
