MAKE ME A GROWN UP
PROGRAMME 1: JACK
BACKGROUND
Seventeen-year-old Jack, from Kent, is in his first year of an A-level course. He is a champion Latin and ballroom dancer whose career aspiration is to run his own dance school. Confident and outgoing on the dance floor, he is just the opposite away from the spotlight. He describes his everyday self as 'a little quiet Jack'. He is self-conscious, has low self-esteem, and is shy, retiring, awkward and easily embarrassed in social situations. He finds it difficult to communicate with strangers and avoids eye contact whenever possible. His clothes and personal style reflect his desire to fade into the background.
Jack believes that his 'split personality' stems from being bullied when younger. He implies that the bullying was linked to the fact that 'people automatically associate being a dancer with being gay'. He confidently challenges this stereotype but admits that it has influenced his behaviour and his outlook on life. He has hidden his flamboyant self under a mask and used strategies designed to protect him from others.
Jack is seeking help to conquer his fears and build his self-confidence so that he has a realistic chance of achieving his career ambitions. He exhibits many of the longer-term psychological effects associated with childhood bullying – lack of self-belief and confidence, anxiety, difficulty in relating to others and a tendency to be quiet and withdrawn in company. It is these effects that the mentoring team addresses. The team concentrates on helping him to:
- take the lead
- feel good from the inside out
- select everyday outfits that project confidence, authority and individuality
- speak with confidence and give clear and concise instructions.
PSYCHOLOGICAL EXERCISES
Jack is highly self-critical and often sets himself up to fail. The street exercise forces him to leave his comfort zone, engage with strangers and face his fears. Stephen intervenes when Jack gets into difficulty. His tips on self-presentation apply to anyone who needs a helping hand to appear more confident in social situations. The associated homework demonstrates the power of 'positive self-talk', as a technique for boosting self-belief, as well as some of the challenges in using it. The final exercise contains generic advice on achieving vocal control and being assertive.
THE MAKEOVER
Hannah helps Jack to stand out from the crowd. His restyle shows the important role that appearance plays in shaping people's perceptions of an individual.
