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Jake's Page




So you think you're better than me eh? Me?! The maths genius of all time·I'm brilliant at Mental Maths·but that's 'cos I'm a bit mental·hurrrrrr!

No but seriously - I am pretty good at sums·.yeah well sometimes Division gets me and Shapes· but shapes are for girls. I can beat Jess any day at times tables·

I've known Jess since I was six and when she was er ..six too·.so that's how many years, one, two three - oh never mind·anyway ever since our mums' started doing kick boxing classes together and I can honestly say I've taught Jess everything she knows about maths (but that's not saying much ·.hurrrr!).

I like Jess, but her main problem is that she doesn't play football and she likes shopping for clothes which I hate (unless it's for new trainers or DVD's) and she will keep on singing Britney Spears songs.

When I'm not sharpening my maths skills I play my guitar. I met Liam Gallagher once and I played him my version of Wonderwall. Liam said 'Jake' he said 'You are like a brother to me'. (Actually, I heard that he and Noel aren't getting on too well at present so I don't know what he meant by that). I think he liked the song, he could probably hear most of it quite well from behind the bulletproof glass of his black limo.

I get my good looks from my mum (my Dad looks like Homer Simpson). My best moment was getting Dad to buy me a DVD player (he says that I can pay him back at only 33% interest! - I don't think he realises what a shrewd financial wheeler dealer he's got for a son).

My funniest moment was being thrown out of the library for doing my peacock impression - and probably my least funniest moment was being sick at the top of the London Eye - must have been something I ate.

My ambitions are: to be a Fighter Pilot, play for England, be Skateboard Champion of the World, play in Oasis, and/or be a dotcom millionaire (whatever that is).